I ask the question, tell me about the best boss you ever had, frequently. I ask it in job interviews to see how a candidate’s prospective new boss might measure up, and I ask it when I’m leading workshops with front line supervisors and managers. While my results are not scientific, they are intuitive – the best bosses both care about the employee as a person and care about their performance as an employee. And the best bosses have the right conversations with them at the right time.
Some managers want employees to be happy to the point they are willing to sacrifice performance for employee happiness. This was called Country Club Management in Blake and Mouton’s managerial grid model that I learned early in my career. Kim Scott calls it Ruinous Empathy in her 2017 book, Radical Candor: Be a Kickass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity.
These managers enjoy having conversations with their employees, but it is generally about kids, vacation, the game last night or the latest blockbuster movie. High performers crave feedback about their performance but they’re not going to get it from this manager. But those employees who always seem to have drama going on outside of work are going to find an empathetic ear from this boss.
Other managers don’t give a hoot about the people who work under them, as long as daily, weekly and monthly goals are met. They might have a perfunctory casual conversation every once in a while, but there’s a good chance they’re going to look at their watch in the middle of it. Blake and Mouton called this Authoritarian Management. Scott refers to it as being Obnoxiously Aggressive in her model.
These managers give copious amounts of feedback – the majority of which is negative. Sometimes they deliver it in real time (when they are really angry) and other times they save it up and deliver it via dump truck during a performance review or, what we used to call (irreverently) a “come-to-Jesus” meeting, designed to turn performance around. These managers tend to good performance for granted, but react quickly to mistakes.
But what employees want is the best of both – they want a boss who cares about them as a person, but also challenges them professionally. This boss has empathy when life gets in the way of work, but challenges those who frequently cite outside issues as an excuse for poor performance. They want a boss who talks to them about their performance and their career development at regular intervals, focusing on both what is going well and what is not. Scott calls this Radical Candor. I call it simply talking to people. I frequently coach struggling managers to talk to your people!
The challenge for small and mid-sized business owners and managers is that there are so many demands on their time. Unfortunately, those key employees on whom they depend for their division or company’s success can unknowingly become their lowest priority. They can go weeks or months not really talking.
An approach that worked for me was blocking my calendar for short, regularly scheduled meetings with each of my direct reports. When I had an office job, we called them tea times and met weekly. When I had a field job, we called it tailgate time and met monthly. In both cases, we spent just a few minutes discussing everything from kids, sports and movies to project updates, performance feedback, and training needs and opportunities. By having a standing meeting, I could address mistakes and performance failure in context. Without those regular meetings, an unexpectedly scheduled meeting with me would signify that they were in trouble. But because we met regularly, negative feedback was taken as feedback and not necessarily a reprimand – a subtle but important distinction.
Call it what you want, but the best managers communicate with their employees regularly and demonstrate they care about them on multiple levels.
